EFL WRITING II CLASS
Barito Utara
One of place to
visit in central kalimantan is Barito Utara. It has some of interest place and
beautiful places. There are many tourism places such as the Banguntaruh Waterfall,
the Tosah Waterfall, the Pararawen Hill, and the Blue Lake. Which is the tourism
place or beautiful places in Barito Utara, it is has story. There are
story of the hero is Panglima Batur, the story of Ondrust Ship, and the story
of Pararawen Hill. Not only interest place and story but also Barito Utara is the place
for get a job. Because in Barito Utara has many company and rubber plantation.
Indeed , Barito Utara might not be famous in the Central Kalimantan, but it has
something interest to visit.
Revised version.
Revised version.
BARITO UTARA
One of place to visit in central kalimantan is Barito Utara.
It has some of interest place and beautiful places. First,There are many
tourism places such as the Banguntaruh Waterfall, the Tosah Waterfall, the
Pararawen Hill, and the Blue Lake. Second,It’s has many story, like story of
the hero Panglima Batur, the story of Ondrust Ship, and the story of Pararawen
Hill.third, Not only interest place and story but also Barito Utara is the
place for get a job. Because in Barito Utara has many company and rubber
plantation. Indeed , Barito Utara might not be famous in the Central
Kalimantan, but it has something interest to visit.
I think this is a good paraghraph, but in the line 'Which is the tourism place or beautfiul places in Barito Utara it is has story', maybe you can change the word 'which is' with 'in every tourism places'.
BalasHapus1. In my opinion, there is no time order signals in your paragraph. Some of Time order signals are first,second,….,then and etc, so you should used it for example” First, there are many tourism places such as the Banguntaruh Waterfall, the Tosah Waterfall, the Pararawen Hill, and the Blue Lake” . Thank you.
BalasHapusI think in sentences three you can combining two sentences being one, too make a simple paragraph, cause sentences four its mayor of sentences three. Like this :
BalasHapusOne of place to visit in central kalimantan is Barito Utara. It has some of interest place and beautiful places. There are many tourism places such as the Banguntaruh Waterfall, the Tosah Waterfall, the Pararawen Hill, and the Blue Lake. It’s has many story, like story of the hero Panglima Batur, the story of Ondrust Ship, and the story of Pararawen Hill. Not only interest place and story but also Barito Utara is the place for get a job. Because in Barito Utara has many company and rubber plantation. Indeed , Barito Utara might not be famous in the Central Kalimantan, but it has something interest to visit.
thank you